


Your Father's Eyes

by RoninReverie



Series: Dawn Syndulla Stories [1]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Blind Kanan Jarrus, What Could Have Been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-26 05:59:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14395791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoninReverie/pseuds/RoninReverie
Summary: Dawn begins to question her father's eyes and a small white lie turns into a much bigger issue.





	Your Father's Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr: [Link!](http://roninreverie.tumblr.com/post/142885879869/your-fathers-eyes)
> 
> Also:[ Some ](http://roninreverie.tumblr.com/post/142885996344/dawn-syndulla-compilation-just-some-more-doodles), [ Fanarts!](http://roninreverie.tumblr.com/post/142704669149/heres-more-kanan-and-dawn-doodles-some-happy)

“Auntie Bean, what are you painting?”

She set down her paints and wiped her brow before turning her attention to the young girl in the doorway.

“This is going to be my greatest work yet Dawn—It’s a family portrait of all of us—” She frowned a little. “To immortalize the crew so we can remember them.” She blinked and continued. “You think it looks good so far?”

Dawn looked to the long hallway wall and saw eleven figures, some familiar, others she didn’t quite know, but she felt like she did. She saw herself and then her mom and her dad—

“Dad doesn’t look right,” Dawn said suddenly.

Sabine looked to the painting in confusion and then her mouth fell open slightly and she smiled down at Dawn with a sympathetic gleam in her eyes.

“I guess you’re right,” she winked. “Sometimes I forget—” She sighed and sprayed a tube of white across Kanan’s eyes. “You sure do have his eyes though…”

Dawn looked at the painting in confusion. It looked like her dad now, just the way she’s always known him. But people have always told her how much she had her father’s eyes. For the life of her, she could not recall even one instance where she had ever seen them.

“I’ve never seen Daddy’s eyes before…” Dawn pondered allowed.

Sabine was so entranced by her work that she didn’t hear the little girl’s reply.

“Auntie Bean?”

No reply. Dawn shrugged at the Mandalorian’s statue-like stillness and turned to go back down the hall.

Her father’s eyes. It wasn’t the first time that she’d heard that. She had so many questions forming, but the little girl knew that her mother or aunt or uncle wouldn’t be able to answer them. No, this time, it was best to find the answers she needed at the source.

She made her way across the ship until she ran into Chopper and patted him on the head.

“Hi Choppy!” She smiled.

Her hand clattered against his hollow robotic shell, but Chopper didn’t reply back.

“What’s the matter?” Dawn asked. “Battery dead?”

She waved her hand around his eye and then shrugged. She’d tell her dad about that when she got to his room.

_*knock-knock-knock*_

She tapped at the doorway, allowing it to slide open a moment after. She saw him sitting alone in his room. He was meditating, like he normally did in his spare time. It was Jedi stuff she wasn’t old enough to understand yet, but she sensed that he was looking for someone. Maybe one day she would ask about that too?

“Hey Daddy…” She inched.

“Yes Dawn?” His body relaxed and he turned his face towards her voice, opening himself up completely as she crawled into his lap.

“Daddy…” She inched slowly. “I think Chopper’s batteries died again.”

“Really?” He patted her back. “That’s the third time this rotation. What are he and AP-5 doing? Maybe they’re just old? Better go tell your mother or Aunt Sabine so they can fix him.”

“Okay,” She nodded, “But Auntie Bean was painting a picture and she said—well—n-nevermind…”

Dawn had a sly way of changing the subject. She played it off like it was no big deal, which only made others want to know what she was going to say even more. That mixed with her guilt-inducing stare and the soft plea that lingered in her voice—she was crafty for her age… that was certain.

Kanan smirked. “None of that, Dawn. It’s alright, go on and tell me what’s on your mind.”

She fidgeted, but gave in to the demand.

“Well, Auntie Bean and everybody else keeps on saying that I have your eyes—but I never get to see them. How come you wear that blindfold all the time, Daddy?”

“Uh…” Kanan stiffened. “That’s a good question moonbeam…uh….well—” His frown flipped instantly into a sharp smile as he got an idea, a brow raised as he thought over his next words carefully. “—Well, that’s easy,” He waved the air away and explained the story as if it were nothing special at all. “You see, a long time ago, they said that I had to wear this thing because my eyes were so darn beautiful that I started turning people to stone with just one look.”

“You turned them to stone!?” Dawn gasped.

“Yep, sure did!” He lied. “And I didn’t want to accidentally get your mom, or anyone on the Ghost, so that’s why I wear this blindfold.” He tugged at his collar once. “Does that answer your question?”

Dawn stood and looked around the room as her thoughts raced. “But if that’s true then—” Her face fell in an instant, “Uh oh…”

* * *

 

Zeb and Hera were sitting at the mess table, relaxing in this rare moment of peace as each of them enjoyed a hot cup of caf.

“Dawn has been getting awfully curious the bigger she gets,” Zeb said as he took a sip of his drink. He chuckled and added, “Seems like just yesterday she was learning to talk—now she’s asking everybody questions every three seconds.”

Hera hummed and took a sip of her cup. “I’ve noticed,” she said. “She’s always asking me what things are and what they do… She has so many questions, I don’t even know what to tell her half of the time. She’s got Kanan’s curiosity, I suppose?”

“Wait until she starts asking where babies come from…” Zeb chuckled darkly.

Hera gave him a sharp look, and smiled down into her cup.

“Well then I’ll be sure to tell her to ask her Uncle Zeb because I’m not nearly ready to have that talk yet.”

_“Aaaaaaaaaaa!” the tiny voice was barely audible throughout the Ghost._

“Ehhh…” Zeb cringed. “Let’s just let Sabine do it.”

_“Aaaaaaaaaaa!” the sound grew just the tiniest bit louder._

“Deal,” she said.

They clanked their cups together as the feint yelling of a small voice grew louder and closer.

_“AAAAAAaaaaaaaaa!”_

“Hey, do you hear something?”

Dawn came in screaming, her hands cupped over her eyes until she ran smack into the wall and fell on the floor.

“DAWN!” Both Hera and Zeb rose in unison as they hovered over the floor.

“Don’t look at me! You’ll turn to stone!” Dawn screeched, her hands returning to her face before she could open her tiny teal eyes all the way.

“What?”

“Daddy said that he has to wear that blindfold over his eyes because his eyes turned people to stone!”

“He did?” Zeb stifled a chuckle.

“And everyone says I have Daddy’s eyes!” Dawn panicked. “I don’t want to turn people to stone, Mommy!”

Hera’s look was fierce, and she turned her face down the hall as the entire atmosphere in the ship grew just as agitated.

“KANAN JARRUS!”

* * *

 

Kanan walked up in time to grab Dawn and lift her to his side.

“Now you did it,” he mumbled, whispering loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. “She’s got the look on her face, doesn’t she?”

“Uh huh…” Dawn swallowed and shook her head nervously. “But I swear I wasn’t looking!”

“Kanan,” Hera only sighed. “What have you been telling my daughter now?”

“I don’t want to turn anybody to stone!” Dawn was frantic.

“Well, about that—” Kanan sweated and attempted to change the subject with a smile and a quick snap of his fingers. “You know Chopper’s on the fritz again…Completely stalled in the middle of the hall?”

“No he’s not!” Dawn shook her head. “I froze him! Just like I froze Auntie Bean!”

“Sabine?” Zeb questioned, smirking afterwards. “She wasn’t working on that mural back there, was she? You know how she gets when she’s concentrating on her—”

“Dawn,” Hera huffed, cutting Zeb off as her hand flew up to her brow, rubbing it around in the annoyed fashion that she did. “You aren’t going to turn anybody to stone…”

She wasn’t convinced.

“But daddy said…”

Hera gave Kanan a look, and he could simply feel the ferocity, he didn’t need his eyes to see it.

He gulped and set his daughter down on the floor. “That’s just Daddy, Dawn…” He explained. “Sabine and Chopper are completely fine. Sabine is just zoned out, and Chopper let his battery die out. You know that—it happens all the time.”

She removed her hands carefully and peeked open her eyes.

“Really?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “We’ll talk about it again when you’re older, never mind all that right now.”

“Well,” Dawn thought it over. “Okay I guess. But if anyone turns to stone, you’re going to have to fix them!”

Kanan laughed and nodded. “That’s fair I suppose.”

“Ahem!” Hera cleared her throat.

“Okay moonbeam, why don’t you go climb on Uncle Zeb for a while,” he said. “Mom and Dad need to talk about some stuff.”

“Thanks a lot—” Zeb huffed, grinning afterwards as he allowed Dawn to jump onto his arm. He lifted her all the way to the back of his head and took off down the hall. “Let’s go put something on that bump, okay kid?”

“It doesn’t hurt!” Her voice argued deliberately.

“What if I touch it like this then?”

“No don’t!”

When the arguing disappeared, and they were completely gone from the hall, Hera rubbed her temple and leaned against the table.

“Why did you tell her all that, Kanan? You know she takes everything you say to heart.”

“In my defense, she was asking—and I don’t think she’s ready to know the truth. Not now, not yet.”

“She’s pretty smart,” Hera smirked. “You’re not going to be able to hold off the talk forever.”

“I know…” He sighed, letting his shoulders drop a little. “She’s about the same age I was, when I started my training… I didn’t think I was a kid then either—didn’t want to be called one for a long time. Much as I hate to admit it, I was—but Dawn is growing up so fast—we aren’t going to be able to keep her a child forever.”

After a moment, Hera slid her hand across his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

“I’ll give you credit though…” she sighed and rest her face across his chest. “It was a pretty good little white lie.”

“Yeah?” He smirked.

“So beautiful they turned people to stone?” She teased.

He shrugged, a goofy grin on his face.

Kanan thought about it for a moment, and finally gave in to his thoughts. “Maybe we  _should_  tell her—”

Hera shook her head. “What’s the rush?”

“She’s very smart,” He smiled. “I think she’d understand. It would be one less question…”

She debated over it for a moment and buried her face deeper into his shirt. “If you’re ready, dear…then we’ll face her together.”

Kanan kept his hand on her shoulder, feeling her unrest even though he knew that she was trying her best to mask it from him. They started for the door when Kanan asked. “Oh yeah, what about Chopper?”

“He’ll be fine for a few more minutes.” She said with one-hundred percent certainty. “I’m with you.”

“Alright…” he sighed, and took in a breath.

* * *

 

They wandered in and Zeb took notice of the hesitant feel surrounding them.

“Dawn,” Kanan started. “I wanted to apologize for telling stories… If you want, I can tell you the truth about this cloth,” He motioned to his blindfold. “And why I really wear it.”

Dawn’s small face grew serious. She’d never seen her parents so somber—never sensed her father so nervous.

“Okay,” was all she said.

Kanan bent to his knee, Zeb and Hera lingering in the doorway. He removed his blindfold slowly, the fingers hesitant to remove the cloth, but he forced his hands to move regardless. When it was gone he heard the light gasp that came out of his daughter’s mouth, and he was still as he could be.

He felt the reactions swirling around inside of her—fear, replaced by sadness replaced by curiosity, replaced with calmness. He waited, his face expressionless, but his head scrambling with worry. He couldn’t doubt his decision, he needed to remain confident about his choices—but it was his daughter, he never wanted to frighten her, he never wanted to seem different in her eyes. Maybe he could have revealed this to her sooner, could have never hid his face from her? It was too late to go back now.

Her question broke the silence of the room and the chaos in his mind.

“Does it hurt?” She asked, her small voice shaky with tears, though she wasn’t all too sure why.

Kanan’s voice was solid as stone.

“Not anymore.”

“Did it?” She asked again.

He frowned.

“A little…”

“Where did they go?” Her voice sounded more powered, more confident because she no longer felt the shock. This was her dad. Something happened to him. But he was no different. She still loved him all the same.

Kanan was hesitant, but smirked and rubbed the back of his neck. It was now or never.

“It was a mission,” he said, “long, long ago, before you were born. I fought a dangerous Sith who caught me off guard and he just sort of—” Kanan made a whooshing noise with his mouth as his hand slide across the air in front of his face. “Cut them right off.”

“Whoa….” She gasped again, sniffing into her arm as she scooted a step closer.

His face looked like a doll that they forgot to paint the eyes on.

“Can I touch them?” She wondered.

Hera’s mouth parted slightly, but Zeb started to smile.

Kanan laughed nervously, and grabbed her hand. “Yeah,” he said, “Yeah—you can touch it.”

He allowed her hand to glide over his face, the feeling disappearing as soon as she hit the synthetic skin.

She felt only the smooth dents in his face where a pair of eyes like hers had once been. The color was a little off, but the texture still felt like the rest of his face. She wondered how they made the skin so real?

“Does that hurt?” Dawn asked.

“Not at all,” he grinned. “After the incident, they put this synthetic skin over the scar so that my face would heal like this—without the—” He fished for the right words. “—wounds.”

“Cool…” She awed. “So it is true…”

“What’s true?” He crinkled his brows at her statement.

Dawn’s smile was wide as she let both tiny hands trace his face.

“That you let the Force see for you.”

Zeb’s jaw dropped, as did Kanan’s.

“Who told you that, Dawn?” Hera asked suddenly.

She thought about it and shrugged. “I just had a feeling.” She took her dad’s hand and placed it on her face as she shut her eyes. “If you want to Daddy, you can feel my eyes if you ever miss yours…”

He let out a meek chuckle, feeling the eyes twitch beneath two small eyelids. It was a beautiful feeling, made even more so because he knew that the face beneath was his little girl’s. He took in a breath to avoid the emotions, but smiled wider and allowed his voice to break and he wrapped her in a hug.

“Thank you honey.”

Hera wiped a tear away and Zeb patted her on the shoulder. Their daughter was so smart for her age, Hera could not be prouder or more relieved that the reveal had gone so well. They feared the worst all this time, they never gave Dawn enough credit for her maturity beneath the childlike face and imagination.

“Hey guys!” Sabine burst in. She stopped when she saw what she was interrupting and backed away, “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt! I’ll just—”

“It’s alright…” Kanan smiled, placing the blindfold back over his face as he stood to face the doorway where her voice and footsteps appeared.

“Auntie Bean! You’re not frozen!” Dawn ran over and hugged her around the waste.

“Frozen?” She wondered. “Why would you think I was frozen, squirt?”

“Long story,” Zeb chuckled.

Hera cut in. “So does this mean it’s finished?”

Sabine smiled and motioned for them to follow her. “Yeah, come look.”

The crew made their way to the wall where the mural lay in view, freshly painted.

Ahsoka and Rex, Ezra, Kanan, Dawn, and Hera, Zeb, Sabine, Ketsu, Chopper, and Ap-5—-altogether, all a memory immortalized into the Ghost’s wall.

Sabine leaned back and marveled at her work.

“Well, what do you think?”

“It’s all of us!” Dawn cheered. “Dad, can you see it?”

“No,” he said simply. “But I can picture it. Tell me about it, will you?”

She nodded, her smile never faltering as she described the many details of the painting.

“Actually Kanan, I’ve been working on this for about as long as I have been the mural,” Sabine said, grabbing a small statue from behind her. “I heard about it a few months back, so I’ve been practicing. This is called etching—it’s how people used to draw hundreds of years ago. It’s like metal detail, but inside a stone slab for art and pictures. I know it’s not really the same, but—”

She handed it to him and his hands traced the engravings to form the picture that everyone had seen on the wall. Even the freshly carved spot where she’d changed his image to wearing a blindfold. Dawn’s doing, he imagined. It was one of the first times he’d been able to recall their faces since he’d lost his sight.

“It’s beautiful Sabine…” He got a devilish smirk to him and added, “But why is Zeb so much taller than me, we’ve always been about the same height?” He teased further, as Dawn tilted the etching down so she could see it too. “And you accidentally gave me big purple ears and stripes.

Dawn laughed.  “Daddy, you’re not a Lasat!” She moved his hand over. “You’re over here!”

He smirked. “Are you sure?” He pointed, I might be this one?”

She giggled and moved his hand back, “Yes!” She laughed.

“Oh, my mistake,” Kanan continued, “Sorry about that.”

His voice made a sad noise, one like Dawn had hardly heard before.

Sabine swallowed and smiled warmly. “Dawn insisted that I draw you right, so I had to add in a few details, if you feel any shavings…”

He smiled.

“It’s perfect.”

Dawn hugged his leg and he ran a hand across her head and down her lekku to her shoulders.

“Thank you sweetheart.”

“No problem,” she said. Her small voice asking after a moment of concentrated thought. “Hey Dad?”

“Yes Dawn?”

“Who are these people?” She pointed to his small etch.

Kanan frowned.

“Well, that’s a story for another day…”

“How come?” She whined softly.

He shagged her headpiece.

“Never mind that. I’ll save that story for when you’re older.”

“Now go get ready for training,” Hera blurted. “Your father tells me that your Form Three is improving. I’m sure we all would like to see it.”

“Okay!” She took off down the hall to the practice room. “Come on, Daddy!”

Kanan mouthed a “thanks a lot” to his wife as Sabine and Zeb followed close behind.

She was growing up too quickly, but some stories just aren’t meant for kids, and one day there would be plenty of time to reveal the truth to Dawn about the missing crew-members on the wall. But for today, she was still a kid—and the Ghost crew would like to keep it that way for as long as they possibly could.


End file.
